Confession

I suppose I should fess up. I have been keeping a little secret from you. I have been on a little mission of sorts. I decided a few months back that I was done being voluptuous. Some call it fat, I called it voluptuous. I gained weight with each pregnancy and of course with each year. And before I knew it I didn't recognize myself.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't near a dangerous number, or ready for a Jenny Craig commercial but I wasn't the tiny body that I used to be. So I felt that I was in the right place to make this decision to get into much better shape. I was comfortable with how I looked, but I wasn't thrilled. And this was not about how much I weigh. That is just a number. What it is about, is how I feel. And I was starting to not feel so great. So before the holiday's I had some objectives to loose some of the initial weight by drinking lots and lots of water, walking and watching what I eat. I didn't give myself a time limit. I have become comfortable with the fact that it took a long time to put that weight on, it is not going to come off over night. I was really diligent with that, and it worked. I lost 35 pounds. Some times I feel as if I am surrounded by people that have never had to worry about extra weight in their entire lives. I think that is why I haven't mentioned it until now. Any one that has been on this mission knows how hard it is, if you haven't, you just don't know. It's that simple.

I had decided that once I reached a milestone with that, I would join a gym. I would consult a trainer and would get into a routine. Routines work for me, I have them in every other aspect of my life. So it will work for me with this. I am pretty hard on my resolve. Once I decide something I am not turning back until I have in the palm of my hand what it is that I am after. So I am there at the mercy of a trainer for at least an hour a day, every day, Monday thru Friday, with classes on the weekend. I DO NOT back down, I DO NOT give up. It goes against the very grain that is my core. I think that this is one of the only times in my life that my pride will help me.

When I was young, I made some very poor health choices. I know this. I admit this. I am not proud of this. But that is why now, after all of these years I am ready to tackle this safely and slowly. I don't have unrealistic expectations. But I do have high ones. So, if I am not blogging as much it is because I am literally working my ass off! I read so much about you all, I feel as if I know you, and your struggles. Some are not that far off from my own. So if you are in the same boat your not alone, and good luck to you!